


You Are The One

by BrokenBlush



Category: BBC Radio 1 RPF, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Dirty Talk, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Misunderstanding, Naked Cuddling, Smut, They love each other, but like harry is lovely about it and he loves nick so much, honestly why have i not mastered the art of tagging, i've forgotten how to tag bear with me here, just a tad, nick's a bit conscious of his body, soft, sort of? a bit, there is a literal art to this, what's a gryles fic without a bit of angst after all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-11 19:31:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11721033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrokenBlush/pseuds/BrokenBlush
Summary: Harry slid his hand under Nick's shirt, running his palm along his waist from his hip before landing it on his tummy and trailing his way up to tug the hair on Nick's chest. "Hey, can you take your shirt off? I want to touch you." Harry mumbled, sounding so delicate and young.Nick gave it a minute before he responded, ever so slightly unsure of how he could ever reply to Harry sounding like that, "If you're planning on round two I don't think it's going to happen. I'm exhausted and the chance of me collapsing on you and ruining your pretty face is too high to risk it.""That's what riding is for, you can't collapse on me if you're on the bottom," Harry giggled, "That's not what I meant though, I just want to feel you and your shirt's a bit in the way.""Oh no, I'm sure you don't want to see my body like this, I reckon my saggy tummy is something to be appreciated beneath clothes," Nick narrowed his eyes as he broke out a small smile.Or Harry gets home after tour, they enjoy a bit of a fuck, then Harry reassures Nick that he thinks he's perfect.





	You Are The One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SeraphStarshine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeraphStarshine/gifts).



> This was supposed to be vaguely short and sweet but 7k later with added smut here we are.
> 
> I'm not quite sure how this happened but I can't say I'm not pleased that it did.
> 
> I think this is the first thing I've written that I've felt properly quite accomplished with. I know I've still got some dodgy writing faults, but I feel happy with how this turned out.
> 
> I wasn't the most coherent when I read this through though, so I hope there's not too many mistakes.
> 
> If you want to find me on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/brokenblush) for more gryles shitposts then you are very much welcome to.
> 
> But besides all that, I hope you enjoy this. xxx

Harry had been away on tour for so long Nick could barely remember what it felt for him to be home.

It'd been at least a couple months since he'd seen the younger boy, and now that they'd finally established there was more between them than the friendship they'd been maintaining for years, the time apart was harder than ever.

Before their feelings were out in the open, Nick would spend their days apart convincing himself to get over Harry, while throwing himself into work, going out and doing pretty much anything he could think of to distract himself from the constant pressure pounding in his chest reminding him of his feelings.

But now he'd spent most of that time debating how many messages would be acceptable to send in a row, and questioning whether spending a solid 95% of his free time if not more thinking about Harry was healthy. Well, that and missing him with every inch of his body.

He knew Harry was going to be back any day now, Nick had gotten a message from him before he'd left for work that morning, just dropping in to let him know the last show was tonight and he'd be home soon.

Ever since then, Nick's entire body had been almost thrumming at the idea of seeing Harry again, he could barely contain himself on air and the moment he'd arrived home he didn't dare leave again, just on the off chance Harry would get back early.

He eventually showed up on his doorstep midway through an episode of Corrie, and the feeling was indescribable. If Harry coming home before had brought back reminders of how he couldn't have him and bring on a deep ache in his gut, then now it was as if his whole body was set alight and warmth was injected into his bloodstream.

He'd stumbled through the doorway and toppled into Nick's arms, almost bringing them to the floor with the force. Nick had clung onto him with everything he had in an attempt to hold them steady as Harry let himself collapse against him.

Nick couldn't even tell where his body ended and Harry's began, their limbs were latched around each other with their hearts stuck together under their clothes.

"I was wondering when you'd get back," Nick tried to joke as Harry clutched onto him.

"I missed you," He heard Harry hush back under his breath.

Nick could feel the emotion shedding through his tone, clenching his eyes shut as he struggled to deal with the raw heaviness in it, "Missed me? I bet you were too busy dashing 'round the world mingling to miss me, darling." He attempted to chuckle in return, trying to mask how much Harry's return was affecting him.

Harry huffed out a short laugh, lacking the usual enthusiasm his giggles contained, but Nick saddled that down to the fact he was home at last, most likely exhausted and wrapped up so tightly in a hug he probably didn't have much breath for anything else.

"No," Harry said with more force, "I'm so glad to be home, I missed you... so much."

Nick's heart clenched, unable to form a response, he couldn't pin together the words he needed to tell Harry how much he meant to him, so he focused on pulling him in tighter and tucking him into his shoulder as Harry nuzzled himself in, conversation muted as they sunk into comfortable silence.

God knows how long they stood there, but by the time they pulled apart tear tracks stained Harry's face while his eyes were wide and pupils big, and that was all it took for an overwhelming sensation of what Nick had called 'Thank fuck Harry's home, I can breathe again' to flood over him. Completely and utterly unable to resist the urge to wrap Harry back up in his arms before whispering, "I missed you too, I really did," gently into his ear.

As soon as Nick had wrapped his head around the fact that Harry was home and had made sure he was alright, Nick softly guided him through to the lounge and across to the sofa where they flopped down. But after a few moments, Harry took it upon himself to push himself up and onto Nick's lap, legs spread either side of Nick's thighs as he settled down.

Nick stared up at Harry in surprise, not exactly expecting him to suddenly leap up in his lap, although by now he should've really learnt Harry isn't exactly predictable, "My lap comfier than the sofa or something? You should know I bought this thing with good faith it'd bring me a good 5-10 years comfort."

Nick grinned as Harry giggled, bringing his hands up to steady him around his waist, curling his fingers into his jumper and gripping on tight, appreciating the fact he wasn't looking through a grainy webcam and enjoying how real he felt on top of him with his legs pressing against his thighs.

And then Harry was dragging one hand through Nick's hair as he struggled down a shiver and another pressed against his cheek as he leaned in and brought their lips together. Nick pulled Harry closer when he trailed his hands down to rub at the skin around his hips while Harry sucked at his bottom lip.

The kiss stayed innocent at first, taking the opportunity to explore each other's bodies after so long apart. Nick tried to keep it slow as he gently licked his way into Harry's mouth, but Harry was too eager for more, sliding his way along Nick's lap until their chests were pressed together and his hands were flung around Nick's neck.

Harry hungrily responded to Nick's kiss, frantically flicking his tongue trying to take control and push it further, gradually getting more heated with every second. Eventually, Nick felt Harry's dick press into his hips through his jeans as he rocked into him from above.

"Please," Harry moaned breathlessly as he broke away from Nick's mouth.

Nick couldn't resist Harry of anything, especially not when he could already feel how hard he was against him with his hips grinding forward and Nick was growing hard himself. He caught Harry's lips with his own, clashing their tongues together instantly as he tried to buck up into Harry, leaving a light moan to fall from his lips as he gasped for air.

Nick slid his hand along Harry's waistband, popping the button undone and digging the zipper down in one motion before replacing the grind of his hips with his palm, pressing down to meet Harry's cock through the fabric. Harry's whine was buried between their tongues as the vibration melted them together, feeling him push back against him in a silent plea for more.

Harry let go of his grasp on Nick's neck before he lifted his arse up to fumble his trousers and pants off his legs and onto the floor, making a dive for Nick's as soon as he was done, then replacing himself on his bare thighs.

"Christ Harry," Nick grunted when he felt their cocks brush against each other, hard and aching as Harry settled back down. He wrapped his hand around them both, panting with the intensity as he stifled back a groan, hearing Harry whimper as he rolled his hips into Nick's fist.

"I prepped myself on the plane for you, will you fuck me?" Harry looked at him all wide eyed and heavy breathing and fuck Harry would be the death of him.

Nick felt a wave of heat swim down his stomach to his cock, nodding slowly as he choked on a groan, unable to believe Harry was here and on his lap and staring at him with delight while he grabbed a condom he'd found from fuck knows where and shoved it down Nick's cock as fast as he possibly could.

"Want it like this?"

"No, need it hard," Harry moaned, pushing himself onto his back spread along the length of Nick's sofa, spreading his legs as he pulled his knees up, leaving his hole directly on show facing Nick.

He could see how wet and ready he was for him with lube spread around his rim, losing his breath at the sight. Harry looked gorgeous, all spread out for him, waiting to be fucked.

Harry whimpered under his gaze, stretching his shirt up and out the way, "Nick, want your cock, just - please, it's been so long." Nick watched as his words faded into a broken moan before Harry wrapped his hand around his cock and started jacking himself off fast.

Nick shot into action, he scrambled to his knees then smacked Harry's hand away as he did so, "Did you get off when you stretched yourself? Let everyone on the plane hear your moans while you thought of my cock filling you up when you got home?"

Harry nodded desperately, "I couldn't help it, I was so hard for you Nick."

Nick tried to hold back for as long as he could, knowing once he was inside Harry he wouldn't last long, so instead he grabbed hold of his cock with one hand and pushed Harry's legs apart as much as he could with the other, and then pressed the head of his cock against Harry's rim, not pushing in, but rubbing it around and gathering some of the leftover lube around the tip as Harry sobbed and begged Nick to fuck him.

"How many fingers did you use?"

"Two," Harry answered back immediately, "Want to feel it. " He could barely pronounce the words through the endless then of curses and whines.

After Harry released a final desperate plea slathered in need, Nick pushed his hips forward and edged his cock into Harry's hole, trying to go as slow as he could to give Harry time to adjust with his minimal prep, but the moment Harry felt the head of Nick's cock shove in, he was crying out.

"Just fuck me, hard yeah? I need you."

Nick's resolve to go slow was chucked out the window the instant Harry opened his mouth, he pushed in hard following Harry's instructions until he bottomed out with a breathless groan trying to shove his hips down for more.

Nick couldn't focus on anything other than how tight Harry felt around him, he was clenching his muscles down tight and Nick felt a rush of heat swim around his body, giving himself a moment to try and calm himself because he was already aching and the wet slide and drag surrounding his cock was sending him towards his orgasm faster than he expected.

"Holy fuck, fuck Nick - please." Harry whimpered, all drawn out and breathy.

He grunted as he pulled out, leaving only the head in, before driving forward and building up a pace until he was fucking him hard, holding Harry's hips down and curving his body over him to attach his lips to Harry's neck when he tossed his head back.

Nick couldn't believe how good it felt to be inside of him again, having Harry's body trembling underneath him with his cock deep inside him being able to hear every one of his moans loud and his clear reverberating in his head. There weren't words to describe it, he could feel the pleasure building up along with the roaring in his ears as his head went fuzzy.

He was so close already, and by the trails of wet dripping from Harry's cock and dragging along his tummy, Harry was too. Nick tried to focus on his body, running his hands up Harry's waist and along with his chest, trailing around his neck before dipping back down to his stomach and through the sticky precome before wrapping his hand around his cock and sliding his fist up and down slowly as he spread it down his length.

He wanked Harry off with a rhythm that perfectly matched his thrusts, he was going so hard he was losing his breath, feeling Harry's cock throbbing under his fingers, curved up with a deep red shade coating the tip.

"Harder Nick please, fuck me, " Harry broke his chain of sobs and inaudible begs to pant out shakily.

"Fuck, you feel so good, so tight around me." Nick groaned, pushing in as hard as he could, angling for Harry's prostate, which he still managed to find with practised ease even after so long apart.

Harry cried out, clenching his eyes shut, "Fuck, fuck - Nick, fuck don't stop. I'm so close."

Nick savoured the whines pouring out of his mouth, panting against a bruise he'd accidentally sucked into Harry's neck as the slap of their skin filled the room, he channelled everything he had into hitting Harry's spot with every push, and with his hand wrapped tight around his cock, he touched his thumb to Harry's heavily leaking slit and Harry arched his back as he came, muscles quivering as he cried out.

He shot come all over his chest and Nick's hand as he tugged him through, Nick kept the pace up until Harry had finished, his entire body was shaking, looking more wrecked than Nick had ever seen him.

Harry collapsed back against the sofa, clenching his hole around Nick one last time, leaving Nick to push in barely a couple more times before Harry murmured, "Fuck - you look so hot," then he was falling over the edge, he shoved his cock in sharply while Harry let out a whine which vibrated through Nick's head as he came so hard he wasn't sure if he'd stopped breathing.

"Fucking hell," Nick groaned, voice breaking with the force of it. The pleasure was racing through his body and he shuddered as it shot through him, he lost track of everything as the white hot pressure consumed him. 

Nick couldn't remember the last time he came so hard, feeling Harry again was beyond anything he could've imagined. He tried not to collapse on Harry as he focused on pulling out, hearing Harry's breath catch on a whine as he drew out completely.

"God Nick, that was so hot," Harry muttered shakily, voice raw and broken through moaning so much.

Nick hummed in response, not even sure if he could think about what just happened without his cock twitching to get hard again - God Harry fingered himself on a fucking plane for him. He couldn't believe he could call this man his.

Nick drew his body up to lean on top of Harry's, trying not to rub the splashes of come on his shirt or Harry's as he leant down to close their mouths together, kissing slow but deep, swiping their tongues together with a lazy ease, both feeling sated and happy.

"Let me clean you up," Nick said quietly once they'd broken apart. Harry protested at first, which melted Nick's heart, before letting him go when he reassured him he'd be back in less than a minute.

Nick stumbled off to find some tissues, not willing to make the journey upstairs for a towel or flannel just yet. He grabbed the box as well as a mug of water for Harry before joining the man back in the lounge.

"I have to say Nick, that good faith you had on 5-10 years comfort on this sofa really is showing to be true."

"Love, I've only had it a year how do we know the comfort is going to withstand?"

Harry pouted, seeming to think incredibly hard about Nick's question, which Nick couldn't help but find adorable, "I don't know, guess we'll have to see. But it's sure lovely and cosy right now."

Nick grinned, overjoyed that Harry was home, then proceeded to wipe down his tummy and mop away the mess of come and lube before Harry beamed softly up at him.

After Nick had gotten them both clean and made sure they hadn't gotten the sofa drastically messy, Harry could barely hold himself up, the last couple weeks catching up to him with exhaustion. So Nick had supported him up the stairs and into his room until Harry was crashing into Nick's bed, curling himself up tight instantly.

Nick had left him to go sort himself out and find a new clean shirt and pants to throw on before heading to the bathroom to try and focus his efforts on taking out his contacts, which was made significantly harder when all Nick could think about was how Harry was waiting for him.

"Nick," Harry whined after a few minutes of being alone. "You're taking ages," Nick turned around to see Harry's face smushed into Nick's own pillow, the sight making him want to abandon all his plans in the bathroom and dive straight into bed with the man, but he tried to resist.

"I've barely been in here a minute, give a man a moment to brush his teeth would you?" Nick murmured with his hip pressed against the sink and a toothbrush hanging out his mouth as he heard Harry's soft giggle in the background.

After Nick had finished up his teeth and thrown on his glasses, he flicked the light off and stepped out and into his room, taking a moment for it to sink in that Harry was buried under his duvet with his soft blue knitted blanket tucked around him - in his actual bed waiting for Nick.

Nick could feel his heart melting, he'd been wrapped in that exact spot with the same blanket a few weeks prior when the weight of being away from Harry hit hard. He'd lay there and waited long into the early hours for Harry to finish his show just so he could just phone and hear his voice.

And now Harry was here, tucked into the same position, with his head poked out and nuzzled into his pillow, "Stealing my side of the bed again, hey?" Nick joked gently, lacking the usual passion his jokes held. Quite honestly, Harry could take his side of the bed and well anything he wanted off Nick and he wouldn't protest.

He'd never felt like this before, never even thought he could love someone close in the way he loved Harry, but he did and he never wanted it to end, however ridiculous and impossible that was.

Harry yawned before he answered all syrupy and sweet, "I like it this side , it smells like you, and you have the best pillows." 

Nick couldn't find words to respond, he just felt warm and a little fuzzy inside. Instead, he clambered across the room and dove under the duvet Harry had lifted up for him, snuggling right up behind Harry, enjoying being by his side he felt the heat radiating off him.

"Hi," Harry flipped over to face Nick as he whispered lightly, breaking out into a smile that made his eyes sparkle. Nick could feel his own lips twitch up in response, unable to resist Harry's charms as always.

"Harold, you've been here over an hour it's a bit late for greetings now."

"I was a bit preoccupied reacquainting myself with your cock," Harry laughed as he pressed himself closer to Nick.

A short breathless chuckle left Nick's lips as Harry curled up against him, feeling Harry's skin brushing against his shirt and his legs twisting with his own.

Nick wrapped himself around him, encasing his body with his own. Harry's nose squashed right up by Nick's throat, hands clenching at the material around his front while his own ran trails along Harry's back and over his bare hip. Feeling Harry nestle into him as he broke out in shivers.

"Speaking of cocks," Nick perked up after a moment's silence, "You appear to be naked in my bed again, where on earth did your shirt go? This really is a lovely spectacle, you know that? Just imagine what Simon and his troop would say."

"Something about me being so lucky to have someone like you to come home to." The words were muffled against Nick's collarbones but he heard them clear as day. "Well," Harry started again, "Possibly not from Simon, he's a bit cold for that, but besides him, that's what they'd say."

"Harry." Nick had lost all humour in his voice as it was replaced with raw emotion. He wasn't sure exactly why his words had hit so hard, but there was something about Harry being back in his arms that melted him down until his heart was all he could feel.

He clenched his eyes shut as he nestled his chin into Harry's mop of hair, trying not to let it show how much his words had affected him, he'd never been too good with emotions after all.

"What?" Harry questioned, sounding genuinely unsure over whatever Nick was on about.

"Nothing, I just..." Nick stumbled as he tried to sift through the endless spiral of thoughts in his head to find some words, "I'm glad you're home," he said softly.

Harry exhaled against his collar bones with warm shaky breath, "I am too," he said in the end, voice heavy with emotion. "I don't like being away from you."

"I can't say I'm that fond of it either, but I can't keep you all to myself, the world needs a share of you and your angelic voice."

Harry said nothing for a while, he only twisted his fingers tighter into Nick's shirt then lifted his head to push a long kiss on the underside of his jaw. Nick was more than happy to remain here, curled tight in each other's arms as they waited for sleep to take them, not caring if he stayed up a little later even though he had work in the morning; being a little tired was nothing compared to missing out on time like this with Harry. It'd be hard enough leaving him in the morning anyway.

Harry slid his hand under Nick's shirt, running his palm along his waist from his hip before landing it on his tummy and trailing his way up to tug the hair on Nick's chest. "Hey, can you take your shirt off? I want to touch you." Harry mumbled, sounding so delicate and young.

Nick gave it a minute before he responded, ever so slightly unsure of how he could ever reply to Harry sounding like that, "If you're planning on round two I don't think it's going to happen. I'm exhausted and the chance of me collapsing on you and ruining your pretty face is too high to risk it."

"That's what riding is for, you can't collapse on me if you're on the bottom," Harry giggled, "That's not what I meant though, I just want to feel you and your shirt's a bit in the way."

"Oh no, I'm sure you don't want to see my body like this, I reckon my saggy tummy is something to be appreciated beneath clothes," Nick narrowed his eyes as he broke out a small smile.

Harry, however, seemed rather put off by his statement, he pulled himself back from Nick's chest and stared up at him with a pout, "Course I do. I just want to cuddle, I wouldn't ask if I didn't want to."

Nick felt something dig at his throat, not quite sure how to answer.

The thing was, they hadn't exactly had a moment like this before. Of course, Nick had been naked in Harry's presence, they'd managed to fit in a lot of sex during the short time they'd been together, but this wasn't sex. There was no desire humming through in the air or focus on getting off to cover anything up, this time it was just him and Harry and their emotions and the spotlight was on everything he usually tried to keep hidden.

He was ever conscious that Harry was frankly fit as fuck with shaped arms and pronounced abs and gorgeous hips and looked young and hot and beautiful and the list was endless.

But Nick, however, felt he had no shape and not a lot going for him. When he looked at himself all he saw was a man who looked like he'd overstuffed on Christmas dinner with his tummy and waist that hardly even curved in from his hips. He had no definition unless the sight of his ribs when he breathed in counted, which Nick had firmly decided they did not. 

This wasn't a new thought either, he was sure there was no way Harry could be attracted to someone like him - some ridiculous DJ ten years his senior who looked like this.

Harry had to have known the world of celebrities, hell the world in general were putty in his hands. He could've had anyone. And it still bemused Nick why he'd chosen him.

He knew it wasn't permanent though. He was certain some day Harry would wake up and realise he wasn't enough and he deserved someone tons better than him, but for now, Nick was incapable of doing anything about it. Harry had him wrapped around his finger and he never wanted to unravel himself even if it was inevitable.

He was just worried that day would come sooner rather than later if Harry caught a good glimpse of him and realised he wasn't worth this, he wouldn't be surprised after all, with how perfect Harry was in every way.

"You alright?" Harry murmured, his voice pulling Nick out of his thoughts and dragging his attention back onto Harry's face which looked plastered with a look that Nick tried to gauge as distaste.

He knew Harry didn't know what was swirling around in his head, and he wouldn't know unless he told him, but once he'd started thinking about his body and Harry was obviously now paying attention, he couldn't help but try and identify whether Harry was affected by it.

Harry looked at him warily as he stretched up to hold Nick's jaw which he gave a gentle tug at in order to pull him up close. Nick let his body sink down against his, trying to put all his attention on Harry and leave no room to dwell on any problems his head was making for himself.

That was easier said than done though, Harry could obviously tell something was wrong and something in Nick's head told him it was himself and once he'd gotten that thought in his head there was room to backtrack.

One thing flowed into another and by the time Harry spoke up again Nick had concluded any moment now Harry was going to try and tell Nick this wasn't going to work.

"Sorry, what did you say?" Nick tried to speak after a while, realising Harry's words hadn't processed and he hadn't responded.

When Nick eventually focused his eyes back on Harry his expression had changed, he couldn't describe it but there was almost a sad look in his eye, then Harry spoke again, "I just asked if I can do anything, you look a bit pale, are you getting sick? Is everything okay? Did you want me to go? I'm sorry, I sort of came here without much warning and I know you've got work in the morning, if you don't want me to disturb you then I can go." He trailed off near the end, growing quieter and drawing himself away as he tilted his head down and edged his way back a couple inches.

Nick could barely think - did Harry want to leave? Even though he'd expected this at some point or another he hadn't begun to imagine how it would feel when it came to it. The thought of Harry leaving after so little time together made him feel like he was breaking in two, he couldn't bear the thought of him going again.

But of course if Harry wanted to leave Nick would never even think of stopping him, he never in a million years wanted to prevent Harry from being happy and if that was with someone else then who was he to object? And anyway, realistically Nick knew Harry was better off with someone else, some model he could fly around the world with and take out without having to hide.

It was silly of him to pin his hopes on them after all. He was a fucking radio DJ who was steadily gaining his years in love with a hot young pop sensation followed by millions - who was he kidding? They were never really going to work.

Nick tried to fumble together something to say, or just figure out a way to remain as composed as possible and ignore the crushing weight settling in his gut. He knew if he started breaking down he'd never make it through this conversation, and also if Harry caught him sobbing he might blame himself and Nick never wanted Harry to be upset or to wish he'd never chased after his own happiness just for the sake of Nick. So Nick just had to calm down, and have this conversation, and then he could let it out.

"Uh... Well, I don't want you to go, but you don't have to be here if you don't want to." He spurted out eventually, aiming for a steady collected tone but probably missing the mark, "If you don't want to, then you don't have to." Nick tried again, completely unsure of his footing, he just wasn't able to sift through his emotions with how utterly overwhelmed he felt.

"No, I want to, of course I want to, you just look a bit off and I don't want to make you feel that way, ever." Harry's voice got slightly louder and more urgent yet he kept the soft tone and honestly Nick had no idea what to read that as anymore.

"Want to go?" Nick asked shakily, needing to understand.

Harry pushed himself up so he was slouched sitting up on the bed facing Nick, which Nick took to mean that he was making a move so without even thinking he clenched his eyes shut, not being able to watch if Harry were to walk away.

But he didn't. After a few moments where the only sound was their chests rising and falling with their breathing, Nick felt Harry's hand curl around his neck which caused him to quickly shoot his eyes open to look up and meet Harry's.

"No," Harry said sternly, "I don't want to go."

"It's okay if you do," Nick found some strength to croak out, "I'll be okay," trying to both reassure Harry and convince himself with one string of words.

Nick didn't hear Harry answer, so he let the roaring in his head take over. Every possible thought in his head rushed to the forefront, demanding to be heard, and Nick was too drained to continue holding them at bay, so he took a breath and took one last look at Harry curled up against his headboard, then said, "I don't want you to leave. But I'd understand if you wanted to."

He didn't let himself look back at Harry's expression he just kept going, knowing that if he stopped he'd lose momentum or worse let any tears escape, "I know I'm not what you deserve and I wouldn't blame you if you found someone else. I never want to stop you from being happy and if that's with someone other than me then I don't want to stop you, but if you want to stay then I'm here."

Nick stopped himself blurting anything else out and hoped Harry had understood what he was trying to say, he braved a look over at him and he was shocked by the overwhelming sadness and pure emotion radiating off Harry.

Nick wanted to wrap Harry up in his arms and replace every bit of the sad with something good, but he wasn't so sure how well that worked when Nick might be the reason for his tears that were threatening to fall at any moment.

Nick hated that he had made Harry this way, it physically burned to think he was sad because of him. He could feel his own tears creeping up on him as he wondered how this had spiralled so fast and how much it ached already. 

He let his eyes wander away, he knew that image of Harry would be imprinted on his head for months if not forever so he couldn't stomach looking again when it hurt so much

The silence resonated for a while, giving Nick time to calm his breathing and practise the running mantra in his head that he was okay and whatever happened would turn out alright, whether it was true or not was a different question, but he forced himself to believe it instead of wondering if they'd even be friends after this.

"Nick," Harry mumbled weakly, "Look at me."

Nick snapped his head up back to Harry, ignoring how painful it'd feel when he walked out, he would bend over backwards if it were what Harry wanted, so looking at him wasn't really a big ask in the scheme of things.

"I don't want to leave, not now, now in a month - I seriously doubt I ever will. I'm here because I want to be, not because I have to. I bagged myself an earlier flight this morning so I could come back to you straight after the show. I don't want to leave, I wouldn't give you up for anything, or anyone for that matter so you can get that out of your head right now. I'm here and I want to be because I love you."

Nick let out some pathetic half broken sob with how relieved he was to have heard those words. He had no idea how to even begin to process any of this, Harry wasn't planning on leaving, at least not now. Nick was well aware he said he doubted he ever would but Harry couldn't promise that, and Nick didn't need him to. He was here and home and Nick didn't know how to handle it.

Harry's entire demeanour was covered by a thick layer of fervour and emotion that Nick couldn't miss from a while away. He knew he meant what he said, he could tell by the pure passion in his tone. He just didn't know how to make it sink in.

"Trust me okay? I want you, I love you and I want you." Harry rushed out, with blazes in his eyes, "I mean it. I'm not going anywhere - well unless you want me to of course but I'm not leaving on my own accord."

"I never want you to go," Nick blurted out, surprisingly loudly given how much Harry was affecting him.

"Good because I never want to go,"

Nick's breath hitched, feeling beyond overwhelmed. He let his eyes shut as a wave of love rocked over his body, letting them settle before he could even comprehend responding.

"I just - I never even considered you might like me back or that we could have any of this. And I'm so... I've felt so strongly for so long and I just struggle to believe you could want me. I need you to know I'd understand if you didn't, you're this young stunning popstar, perfect in every way, and I look like a wonky sack of gone off potatoes that pales in comparison-" 

"Sorry what?" Harry cut him off, shuffling his body down the bed as he found his way closer to Nick, "Don't tell me you believe that... right? Nick?" Harry said fiercely, desperation hanging from every word.

It took Nick a moment to catch on what he meant, but once he did the silence in the room was more intense than it probably should've been when he struggled for an answer.

"Nick hey," Harry dropped his voice to a whisper, dripping with sincerity, staring Nick straight in the face, almost as if he was making sure Nick heard him. "You're beautiful,"

"Haz love, you don't need to boost my confidence I'm okay, I can't help getting old and it's my own fault not sticking with the gym."

"No - I need to say this. I mean it." Nick felt Harry's hand come up and wrap around his jaw, pulling his face down so they were level, "You and your face and body are beautiful in every way there's nothing wrong with you, never has never will be. Yes - you don't look like me but I don't want you to. I want you for you and you're gorgeous.

Nick's heart was racing, the knack Harry had of saying exactly what he needed to hear always made him melt.

"You sure? If I had a beard and some hair dye I could be Santa - old and a bit tubby, it's like we're twins." Nick attempted to joke with a laugh.

"Bit of an exaggeration there perhaps, you look nothing like Santa. I think you look like a gorgeous man dripping with sex appeal with a stunning face that I missed so much. You hardly have a tummy, your arms are hot and strong enough to hold me up and fuck me standing and you have the best legs I've ever seen and if you think I find any part of you less than beautiful then you're mistaken.

Nick was too stunned to speak. He was expecting an agreement perhaps or a bit of a laugh when he'd mentioned his shape but not Harry telling him this, the words were spinning round his head on repeat, knocking away the thoughts swirling in his head one by one. He was absolutely completely blown away by how much Harry meant to him and how lucky he was to even have him in his life.

"You're amazing Nick. Extremely handsome and hot and just incredible - in every way, I need you to know that."

Harry was looking on the edge of tears with his eyes like saucers and fingers grasping at Nick's face like he never wanted to let go, and he could feel the emotion building up as he tried to choke back his own tears.

Nick was honestly speechless, Harry was lying next to him with his heart of gold reaching out and coating Nick's own with a layer of love he never expected to have. 

"Thank you." Nick started, knowing he could never find enough words to respond to how much Harry's words meant to him, "I don't know how you haven't run for the hills by now, but it means everything that you're here. Thank you."

"I love you," Harry attempted to push into the air, a rough sob breaking its way into his words.

Nick instantly shuffled forward and curled his arms around Harry's back, clinging onto him with everything he had, pressing their bodies as close together as he possibly could, tucking his chin in Harry's neck as he felt a tear fall down his own cheek as Harry clutched his own hands around Nick so tight he knew they'd leave marks.

"I love you too angel, so much." Nick said in a breath, almost shaking from the build up of emotions. His whole body felt on fire from the sheer volume of love flowing through his veins. 

Lips pressed up against Nick's throat, leaving him stretching his head back to give Harry better access from the less than comfortable angle. He felt Harry trail up his throat with the softest brush of his lips, causing Nick's eyes to flutter before he heard Harry whisper into his skin, "You don't have to, but if you're comfortable could you take off your shirt now?"

Nick exhaled, he knew Harry wasn't going to leave, and he knew the sight of Nick's body wasn't going to cause him to leave, so with that, he leaned back from Harry momentarily to drag his shirt up and over his arms, before tossing it to the bottom of the bed.

Before he snuggled back up with Harry, he caught a glimpse of him smiling, with tears down his face and soft pink cheeks, looking up at Nick as if he held the world. Nick couldn't even crack a joke, he just let himself lie down back next to Harry as he nuzzled up tight, feeling their skin pressing together with warmth and affection.

Nick felt Harry press his face back against his shoulder, feeling him smiling against the curve of his neck as his hands started wandering Nick's back, stroking along his shoulder blades and across the stretch of his spine and the only emotion Nick could feel was a strong beam of love for Harry, no worries or thoughts of Harry leaving him, just an overwhelming sense of love.

Harry explored his body with the gentle touch of his hands as Nick held Harry close, curving his body around him naturally as Harry curled into him.

Eventually, Harry shuffled up the bed, dropping his head on the pillow Nick was on, closing the distance between them as he brought their lips together. Nick firmly pushed back against him, taking his time to suck on Harry's lips, shivering when he hummed into it.

The sensations hummed through Nick's bones spreading the warmth from his heart around his limbs while Harry's fingers clawed at his neck and snuck his tongue into his mouth, curling it around Nick's and sliding them together melting all their earlier words together with a raw heat that burned its way into Nick's lungs.

Then Nick felt a tear roll down Harry's cheek and collide with their lips, licking into Harry's mouth trying to express how much he meant to him before breaking apart, keeping their foreheads pushed together as Nick caught a glimpse of Harry's eyes brimming with wetness.

He pressed his lips against another tear cascading down his cheek, lingering as Harry's breath caught in his thought before letting out a shaky exhale, "Thank you," Nick breathed again, making sure Harry heard. 

Having Harry back and having him stay and hearing what had tumbled out of his mouth just left Nick feeling loved and in love and it tangled everything he'd ever felt for Harry together until it was this huge lump in his throat, trying to express how he felt but struggling to deal with the enormity of it.

"I meant every word," Harry whispered into Nick's skin, his breath breaking Nick out in shivers.

"I know." Nick caught Harry's lips again, intertwining their tongues instantly, kissing with everything he couldn't show with words.

They'd stayed their tightly wrapped up for what could've been hours, Nick had no idea, they were just happy to be in each other's arms again, and once some of the energy had dissipated they'd been left feeling relaxed and warm with their heart's filled with love.

A little while later, Harry pulled back with a glint in his eye which Nick could tell was holding back a giggle, "Can you take your pants off now too? I won't even caress your arse, I just want to cuddle."

Nick attempted to roll his eyes but failed when a grin popped up on his face instead, "Course you won't," He said with a heavy layer of sarcasm, before fidgeting away and fighting his pants down his legs then kicking them off.

"I would never." Harry smiled in response when Nick settled back against him, clinging onto him instantly, bodies melting together as if they were made for each other.

And then Harry snuck his hand down and made a grab for Nick's bum.

Nick huffed out an indignant noise, pretending to be bothered but as he felt Harry's teeth pressing into his chest as he grinned, he couldn't have been more filled with love.

"Sleep now?" Nick questioned once Harry's hand fell away, realising soon after when he got no response Harry had already drifted off, tucked into his body, legs twisted together with Nick wrapped around his torso.

Nick smiled, basking in the love he felt, before tugging Harry closer, tucking his own head in Harry's soft curls and shut his eyes.


End file.
